Jumping Christ on a hotplate, I cannot believe that young Ezra authored this post:

Sounds like Portland is a rather nice place to live — a fact backed up by everybody I know who has ever lived there, despite what Cato says. This has actually puzzled me since I went to Seattle and noticed all the awesome coffee shops and bookstores and generally nice features. Why can’t DC have all that. There are, after all, lots of young, computer savvy white people in Mt. Pleasant, but nary a coffee shop to serve them. It’s barbaric!

But it actually makes sense: Cities like Portland and Seattle are trying to create a livable city to retain and attract a certain type of resident. Namely, educated, young, white people. Portland’s 78% white, Seattle’s a bit under 70%. So you structure the city thus that there’s lots of educated white people bait, including cafes, bookstores, wireless internet spots, bike trails, etc.

DC, by contrast, has a lot of white people working in it, but is actually only 39% white, and has a city government that does not derive primary political support from transient white voters. So the character of the city actually does more to represent its inhabitants. Which seems rational. Moreover, the white people there basically have to be there. You don’t move to DC because it’s awesome, you move because it’s where your work is. So there’s little need to construct an affirmative agenda to attract residents.

What in the holy name of Jason Campbell is he talking about? Never mind that the percentage of whites in much of Northwest differs substantially from the percentage of whites in the city as a whole. Never mind that whites can vote for the Mayor and D.C. Council and have a government quite concerned with their well-being (if you talk to black residents of the city, you’ll often find they believe the city government is a tad too concerned with the well-being of white people). Is he saying that black people don’t like coffee shops and bookstores? What would they prefer?

And what in hell is that last paragraph supposed to mean? Is he drunk? You know, many of us living here think D.C. is awesome and would take it over Southern California Monday through Saturday and four times on Sunday. And does Ezra not understand that the District is trying desperately to attract residents, who could easily live in the burbs? And that the fact that the population of Northwest D.C. is booming suggests that many people have found something to enjoy here?
Look, I love you liberal columnists, I really do. When you’re on Iraq or health care, I’m right there with you. If you insist upon writing foolish things about my city and totally misunderstanding the issues and forces surrounding urban development, I’m going to have to do something drastic.